Four brewery presidents walk into a bar. The guy form Corona sits down
and says: “Hey, Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.”
The bartender serves it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says: “I’d like the best beer in the world. Give me ‘The King of the Beers’, a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says: “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water. Give me a Coors.” He gets one.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says: “Give me a Coke.”
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask: “Why aren’t you drinking Guinness?”
The Guinness president replies: “Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.”
An Irishman walks into a bar in Cork city and asks the barman: “What is the quickest way to get to Dublin?”
“Are you walking or driving?” asks the barman.
“Driving” says the man.
‘That is the quickest way” says the barman.
The guy walks into a bar and has a drink. And he looks into his pocket and orders another drink, then again looks into his pocket and orders another drink, and so on.
Curious bartender asks: “What are you doing? What’s in your pocket?”
And the guy says: “It’s a picture of my wife. When she starts looking good to me, I know its time to go home.”
A brain goes into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a pint, please”. The bartender replies: “Sorry, I can’t serve you, you are out of your head.
A pork chop goes into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender says: “Sorry, we don’t serve food here"